When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.