How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo