How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.