Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.