When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Don't worry, bee happy!
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.