What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.