Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.