Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
Whatever floats your goat.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.