How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.