What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.