My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.