Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.