What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.