What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."