How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.