What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.