Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."