The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.