What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.