Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
I like you, you croc my world.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.