Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.