How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!