What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.