A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.