What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.