Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.