Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.