Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
My fat parrot escaped from its cage... To be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.