What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene