What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Whatever floats your goat.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.