Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.