What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!