What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.