How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!