What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.