Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.