What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.