Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.