The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business