What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
You have goat to be kidding me.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.