What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.