Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.