What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.