What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.