My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Crowing, crowing, gone.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.