What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”