Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.