A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.