Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!