What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Don't worry, bee happy!
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Goat milk?
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.