My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.