Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
You have goat to be kidding me.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!