Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you call an alert ant?
Vigil-ant.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.