What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!