What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.