What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Some people like to play croc-quet.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.