What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.