Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!