What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.