Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.