What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.