Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
I like you, you croc my world.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.