What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.