I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!