How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Goat milk?
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.