What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.