Turtles love taking shell-fies.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.