Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.