Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.