What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!