What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.