What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.