How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.