What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.