What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.