How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!