What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.