What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!