What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut