Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.