Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.