Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.