Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.