What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!