What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.