Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.