What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.