What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.