What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.