What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”