Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.