Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!