What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.