Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!