What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.