Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.