What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!