What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.