What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Whatever floats your goat.