I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!