I hope for world peas.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Everybody romaine calm.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
I love you from my head tomato
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
This foundation is rock salad.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
I yam what I yam.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What a spud muffin.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
I need to take this picture for my instayam