What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
I love you a tot!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
I like you a latke!
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!