What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.