What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
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