Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
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