Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
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