How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
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