RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
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