What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.