Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
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