Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
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