How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
Go to BabaMail
