Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Good science always checks itself before it wrecks itself.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
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