Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It's down to its last quarter.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Go to BabaMail
