If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
Go to BabaMail
