Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Air resistance is a real drag.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Go to BabaMail
