Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
Did you hear about the zygote that joined the army?
I heard he was diploid.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?
Climax.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
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