What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
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