What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
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