What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
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